I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Kiwi2222 Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're a strong, wonderful person, I'm sure of that. I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I feel like it may definitely help you, if you don't have one already. Either way, you're definitely not alone here. We're here for you if you need it. You'll always have us. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. We're all your friends. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Try to find as many distractions as you can. Anything that may help you distract your mind for a little bit. Even doing some exercise could help. Perhaps you could try out yoga if you want. Or maybe read some books. There are many self-help books that could read. Perhaps you could try to do that. You're a strong, wonderful person, I know that. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. You just need to believe in yourself a bit more. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done. Take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. No need to hurry. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please stay safe and take care of yourself. Don't hurt yourself. You have so much more to give to this world. You're a strong, wonderful person and I'm sure many would miss you if you were gone. Trust me when I say that. You're already helping out many more people than you think, even simply by making relatable threads like this. You're definitely not alone in this. Please remember that. You're loved here. You can be sure of that. If it gets bad, please call an hotline or go to an hospital. I understand it's not an easy decision to make. But your safety must be the priority. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. You're a strong, wonderful person. Stay strong, Kiwi2222. Stay safe and take care of yourself. We'll never abandon you here. Please remember that. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this