Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolblue222
Thank you so much for the understanding reply. You have completely hit the nail on the head. I am grieving. Yes I do feel a loss about not having a boy. I am feeling traumatized by my labour/delivery. There’s many different factors that I feel sad about. I think the thing that scares me the most is that I feel like my purpose as a woman has ended. I’m done having kids so now what? Anyone can be a parent, and probably a better parent than I’m being right now. That joy and excitement of getting married, starting a family, etc is over. I have to go back to work in a couple months and it feels like a death sentence. Ugh. My perspective on life is so messed up right now. It’s hard to stay positive. Like I said it helps to hear from others who have been or are going through the same issues.
|
I think the thing that scares me the most is that I feel like my purpose as a woman has ended. I’m done having kids so now what?
Oh CoolBlue, that sounds heart-breaking! I am so sorry you feel that way. However, it is an important realization that you know exactly why you are feeling so badly...that's your first step toward healing.
Feeling purposeless in life would be scary for anyone. But I have a hunch that if you make finding a new purpose your goal, you will start to feel better. Whatever that purpose may be. Something unique for each individual. Perhaps a couple of thought exercises could help. Think of a woman you truly admire...or even a few women. They could be people you actually know in your life or appreciate from a distance like a celebrity. Think about why you admire that woman and make a list. Is that woman a mother? If so, was her role as a mother the only thing you wrote on the list? If she's not a mother, what did you write?
Or...think of who you were before your babies....what were you like then....what did you enjoy? What did you value? Try making a list. Reflect on some happy pre-motherhood memories...write them down.
Think of the greatest compliments you've received over the course of your life thus far. Write them down. See any patterns or values linked to those compliments...not necessarily related to motherhood?
Sometimes I think pain (physical or emotional) can be a message from mind or spirit that we need to change something in order to regain inner balance. Perhaps your current grief is a form of communication from your deeper self that you need to explore and develop other aspects of your identity?
I continue to wish you peace, enlightenment, and healing. Here's a big, safe
for you.