Hello TeaFruit. Thank you for sharing your truth. That is not easy to do, so well done! You seem very brave. I admire you for taking ownership of your actions and making a direct apology. If only people would always graciously accept our apologies, especially when we go to lengths to be clear and honest. It would have been lovely if you received a nice reply. I'm sorry that didn't happen. I did not fully understand the complexities of your situation with the former friends so I'll focus on the apology part and the fact that you are having trouble moving on because you don't have other friends.

A sincere apology is a beautiful thing whether it is accepted and reciprocated or not. You did the right thing by genuinely saying sorry. The outcome on your friend's side does not change the value of your apology. Your self-reflection on what went wrong from your side is also very important. This will help you to not hit the repeat button with future friends.

Please remember that not having other friends now does NOT mean that you'll never have friends. In the meantime, what about a volunteer opportunity? A way to connect with others sharing a common goal without the pressure of needing to suddenly make friends and socialize. Volunteering could help to reduce loneliness and add a sense of healthy connection to your life. When we help others, we also help ourselves. There's a lot of research out there on that topic if you're interested.

What makes you happy? What makes you feel good within yourself? Write that down and make it a frequent habit. Even something as simple as "I feel good when I go for a walk." The more you honor and appreciate yourself, the less you will feel bothered by the breakdown in prior friendships.

Peace and healing energy to you.