This might sound weird for anyone who doesn't live in India, but it's a big deal here. So my sister came home from Italy last month for a one month visit and we spent some good time, I had a good time with her friends too and the day before she leaves, I find out that she made out with her ex (whom she broke up with because he kept saying that she abandoned him and left to study in another country while they were still in a relationship, and I would hate for her to go through that again). She told me that she was gonna spend some quality time with him, for one last time and that they'd never see each other again and needed me to cover for her, since my parents don't know about it. "You need to trust me", she said. I should've told my parents that she was going to see him. I should've done something! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT I freaked out and apologized later, but I'm not sorry about the freakout. You broke up with him for a reason! When I confronted her about this before apologizing, she said "don't you know that this is what happens between couples?!". "Well, you aren't a couple anymore, are you?!" "but that doesn't mean we don't love each other" she says.And then I see a message that says "If it doesn't work out in Italy, come back". This got me mad. Now I feel really crappy, and not because I freaked out but because they made out. All the memories that I've seen as one of the best in my life suddenly have the life sucked out of them because of this one. I don't know if this is an appropriate response. But now I can't even eat stuff she got for us, like a box of Ferrero or a bar of Lindt. Forget chocolates, I'm extremely reluctant to even eat a loaf of bread that I got for her because it was for her, or any other stuff that was intended for her or from her. I've lost interest in everything. Before this, I was thinking to myself, "I'm gonna start going to pubs and stuff and have fun with my friends(and or a girlfriend, maybe), and maybe even make new ones". Now it feels like having a girlfriend just means that her siblings and parents are more worried about her, and I don't want that since I know how it feels. I was even planning to go on YouTube to learn how to dance at pubs because when I was with my sister and her friends this time, I couldn't dance and they had much more fun dancing. I was thinking that next time, its gonna be awesome. But now it all seems pointless. I'm searching for an emoji, but I can't find the right one; or maybe I just don't know what I'm feeling. Sometimes when I close my eyes when I'm awake, I see a metal image of them making out. I feel like prying my eyes out, hoping that it would stop. So much so that I can feel a pseudo knife poking into my eyes as this happens. And I just found out yesterday, this is bound to get worse. I really need your help getting through this guys I'm really scared and confused.