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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
Thanks, Kit! It mainly stresses me out because they have to focus on all of D’s deficits. When lately I’ve gotten better at focusing on her success. Plus, small hot room with bright lights that give me a migraine and like 8 people staring at me. Also a couple years ago, I had a total panic attack and started crying at one, then had to leave the room, because it was the morning after I’d learned that Ex-MC’s wife had died, I’d gotten little sleep, and was hungover. And I was embarrassed. So it’s almost like some sort of PTSD thing. And H doesn’t understand why it stresses me out so much. But T does. Wish he could come with me...(T, that is—H will be there).
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As a teacher (and a parent of a special education student), I can assure you we aren't sitting there "staring at you." I understand the fear though. Seriously though, everyone in that room is really much more focused on being sure their paperwork is filled out correctly and that they are following the rules than anything else. The IEP meeting really is about your daughter, not you, and the format for those meetings is very scripted. We have a formal protocol and sequence of items to discuss. It's pretty much the same for every student we have an IEP meeting for.
The only ones I've seen anything different for where those occasional IEP meetings where the parents bring in a special education advocate or (God forbid!) a lawyer. I've literally been in IEP meetings that went into multiple days - like 16 hours worth of meeting; it was ridiculous. Yes, I'd say we weren't really terribly thrilled with those parents, but I'm assuming you aren't that parent. LOL. (I've only experienced about 3 of those nightmare IEP meetings in my 34 years of teaching.)
Remember, the discussion of deficits is for setting goals for the coming year. Take note that they will also discuss the past year's progress in reaching last year's goals. It's easy to get a bit overwhelmed by all the information, but they do discuss progress before they establish the new goals. If this isn't a reevaluation year, they won't spend as much time going over every aspect of testing. I hated reeval. IEP meetings; those can be a bit overwhelming. Fortunately, they don't happen every year.
By the time my son was in high school, I mostly stopped attending his IEP meetings as things were for the most part on a status quo with minor changes the diagnostician could go over with me ahead of time. As a teacher, getting away from my own classroom to attend an IEP meeting across town wasn't always feasible, so if things weren't going to be changing much, I got the short version via phone and signed papers later.
They can do them by phone by the way if you can't physically be there. They can put you on speaker phone. I've seen that done a few times (and I think maybe even one of my son's was done that way because of scheduling).
Hope it goes well.