I kind of wonder if this post was provoked by my confession of SI ? Believe me, this forum was not my deciding factor of whether I'd try it or not. I didn't learn what SI is on this forum. My daughter had a serious problem with SI several years ago (stitches, hospital, etc) and I never understood. We would have discussions about it and it never made sense to me why someone would hurt themselves. I was supportive, but totally baffled.

About 3 months ago I found myself with a blade to my arm. I made some superficial marks. Within 2 weeks I was cutting deeper and was thinking about it constantly. I came to this forum and read - hoping to gain some understanding what was happening to me. It was then that I learned how addictive it was (and I was experiencing it myself) and how most people who SI reported that it caused more problems than it solved. That's what you guys taught me. And that was my encouragement to stop it when I could. My only way to stop at that point was to shut down and pretend that everything was okay.

Now my life is in shambles and I can't hide from my emotions and fears. So I started something I didn't go through with a few months ago. Again, this forum was not the reason I did it!

As I told my T about it our last session, I kept saying, "Yes, I hurt myself but I don't SI". Total denial huh? %#Y#, I'm 41 years old. This is not what I wanted to become. I'm ashamed.

Just my thoughts as a SI "newbie".