I agree that what you have brought up here and in your other threads would be good to discuss in therapy.

Do you still have that stomach-churning fear of therapy that you mentioned?

If so, my suggestion would be to make that the first thing you tell a therapist.

"I'm terrified to be here, I don't know if I can make it back again."

It won't be the first time that any therapist has been told this.

It is then the therapist's job to make you intellectually and emotionally comfortable enough to be willing to try again the following week.

When you finds the right therapist--it will be worthwhile. You will begin to heal and grow.