Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 307
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Mar 07, 2019 at 08:39 PM
Possible trigger:
at 1:50am, I released after publicly communicating with women in a group chat room. I had a strong urge to privately communicate with one woman, but I refrained. Maybe that urge was strong because I had forgotten to release yesterday. when I don't release on a daily basis, things get bad. Also I've been very stressful these past few days with trying to find employment.
at 12:20pm, I released without external resources. I wanted to publicly communicate with women, but I promised to dedicate at least 4 days to masturbating without external resources (including human resources.)
when trying to release without resources, I realized that I couldn't imagine a sexual situation as well as I would when writing poetry. To feel sexually pleasing to a lady, I imagine being socially pleasing to a lady. It's not easy to imagine a lady in a sexual situation without some social exposition. Even the concept of consent is based on social behavior, so I get uneasy when I'm not able to imagine a socially pleasing environment when thinking of sex.
Maybe this is why I tend to want to communicate with women when I feel sexual, and another reason why poetry facilitates my sexuality. Not only does romance poetry give me a verbal way to express my sexuality, but it also provides fictional environments where ladies are socially pleased.
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