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Old Mar 07, 2019, 08:44 PM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 7,001
Ran again today. So tired. Wish I could take a break. My weight is stable though I need to gain (logically, I know this). I overdo it too much and do risky things like go running in the dark at 3:30 AM. I did that today. I woke at 2:30 AM because right now, I've got 3 temporary crowns on the left side of my mouth, and I have been waking between midnight and 3 AM with an aching jaw (get 2 permanent crowns put in tomorrow). Tylenol helps it (can't take NSAIDs because of having had a perforated ulcer). I could not go back to sleep this AM, so I ran and ran. Maybe the night running is part of the bipolar. I tend to have a baseline of craziness mixed. Sometimes, I'm even manic & depressed at the same time. Just insane.

Saw pdoc; he thinks I should be in therapy yesterday. Gave the therapist a call earlier this week, but there are some insurance issues; I'll call her again tomorrow.

Saw the eye doctor too. Eyes got worse. I've got like -10 vision in contacts in each eye, and now I have to have correction for close up as well (getting very hard to read OTC medication bottles, even books). Veritable fortune for 1 yr. of contact lenses and/or a pair of updated glasses. Really, I need both, but I wear the contacts the most. Though one time I scratched my cornea and had to go 3 weeks wearing glasses while it healed.

Thinking today how much bipolar sucks. EDs too. Also panic disorder. And am not sure if it's bipolar or ADHD, but I'm losing everything all the time now. OMG, I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen