if we're going to do any real work on this issue I'm going to have to talk about the other half of it too. You need to understand that those fears of taking it too far in the other direction aren't exactly unfounded.
But, god, I do not want to talk to you about this. I feel so ashamed and disgusting.
I feel like if I don't even attempt to get rid of it (even though it's really too late to do much good) then I can't talk to you about it at all.
I know you'd much rather I didn't do that.
But I can't stand the idea of you looking at me. I feel like I don't deserve help if I don't do this. I don't deserve to have you not be disgusted. I don't deserve your compassion. I don't deserve to have you be proud of me for not doing this because me not doing this isn't a good thing.