I don't know what I'm doing.

I want you. I don't want you.

I also got into a fight with my mother on skype because I snapped when she didn't hear what I was saying as she had something else playing at the same time like always. It was about being more depressed and wanting to come home. I told her that I didn't forgive her for beating my brother and me when we were younger, and that when she says she stayed for us, her decision to stay with her husband also affected us.

No one is there is for me and it's not a new thing.