Quote:
Originally Posted by Melen6
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years, just before Xmas last year we moved in together and I found out he’s heavily into My Little Pony Porn (little cartoon horses) then subsequently found out he’s heavily into Furry porn. When we first got together I told him porn in general is a little weird to me, I don’t understand it because I don’t like it, but if he did it only occasionally I could accept that.
When I first found out he liked the show I told him I knew porn of it existed, that I couldn’t be with someone like that and calmly and rationally asked him if he was like that, he vehemently denied this and said it was disgusting. I asked questions here and there in the relationship which he always denied. I used his phone, with his permission while navigating in the car and found all the Pony porn so he couldn’t deny it any longer, he watched hours and hours of this regularly (he doesn’t look at any human in human porn at all). His porn watching is what I believe caused his mild impotency. We had a huge argument, I now regret my actions but at the time I locked myself in the room and told him he was disgusting and needed therapy. He talked to his mum and sister about it and they both told him he was normal, my friends all told me he was not. We worked through a lot of things and I decided to stay with him and he promised he wouldn’t look at that stuff anymore. Then 2 weeks ago I found him masturbating to “Furry” porn while I was making him dinner right after we had sex. I spent a few days at my friends place and I believe he has finally cut it out. He can finally get an erection easily, which is basically how I tell. However I can’t get the thought of his fetishes out of my head, it makes me feel physically sick to think about, how do I move on from this? Otherwise he’s absolutely the guy for me.
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Interestingly enough your last sentence caught me off guard. That "otherwise he's the guy for me" kind of contradicts the whole idea of a relationship that's more than just friends and is intimate. The biggest difference between really good or best friends and a romantic relationship is the intimacy itself. everything else is relatively the same, as in shared interests, values and such. But if sexual compatibility isn't there There really isn't anything to make the relationship a viable one beyond being best friends. I'm not sure if I'm clear here but my point being in every other way he may be compatible to you, making him a good partner to be friends with but if sexually you are not compatible why try to be involved intimately?
Likely as others have said even if he says he's going to quit, likely he will just hide it better. Secondly, in the very best situation he actually does "quit" looking at it, more than likely the interest in that type of porn or sex and portrayal of it will remain. Without his own coming to terms with what you think of it and actually agreeing with you that it's wrong, weird or whatever, it won't change internally.
The issue isn't entirely the porn itself or the consumption of it that I see as an incompatibility problem, but that what he finds interesting, desireable and attractive sexually does not mesh with what you find as such. Without common interest in sexual ideas and mores, you cannot have satisfying sex in the end and ultimately I dont' think it would work out in the long term.