I'm kind of in the same situation, although I must say, living in filth is pretty alarming. I'm feel for what you are going through and am happy you found somewhere to talk about your feelings!

Was he like this at the start of the relationship? Did he say he would try to get better or contribute more earlier on?

Perhaps it would be helpful to limit "screen time." This is a strategy my bf and I have recently talked about. He usually doesn't do much beyond tv and video games. But he's not addicted to them. He proposed having days where he only has one hour of "screen time," and the rest of the day can be used for hobbies, cleaning the house, etc. Do you think your bf would be interested in that?

The worst thing you can do while depressed is nothing. So at the very least, try to get him outside, have the sun on his face, ride a bike, read a book.

And, like you, I have anxieties myself. But it can be easy to "get stuck" taking care of someone else and not prioritize your own needs. It's the whole oxygen masks on the airplane metaphor: you have to put your own mask on before helping others. As you mention, you're stressed out as well, but your bf provides no help, and in fact, is making the situation worse. I particularly don't like how he treated you with the fencing. Not only did he end up injuring you physically, but also emotionally by making you feel bad for asking for help. Perhaps you need a break to figure things out and help yourselves first? I know it can be hard to ask, esp. if he's depressed, but ask yourself what YOU need right NOW. He should also be taking steps to help himself, like therapy, medication, exercise, diet, etc., too.