An AD and a stimulant are dangerous drugs to be on without an AP and a mood stabilizer. You do sound delusional. The irony is that it is not your pdoc and T that are trying to control you, it's you. You're playing doctor and you picked a dangerous drug combo for a person with psychotic symptoms to be on. I sincerely hope you don't lose your job over this plan of action and end up involuntarily hospitalized. Whatever happens PC will be there for you.