Jm2310, it's just fine to have a pity party occasionally, but I'd like to reassure you that I see what you listed as being quite productive in significant ways. I can certainly imagine what a huge responsibility homeschooling must be. You say you are getting the school work done with them. That's a big thing! You say you are doing some chores on top of that? That's a lot more than many of us can do when even mildly depressed. I never had children. Though I have worked full-time in the past, I've been on disability for years now. Again, what you are managing now is, to me, a big deal! Even if you couldn't do the homeschooling, or even the chores, it would be understandable because you have an illness. Illnesses suck! Mental illnesses can suck even more than physical illnesses, because so many people just don't understand. Try not to despair about that fact. We ARE here to support you. We do understand.

I'm sorry that your parents are putting a guilt trip on you. That is not fair! There are millions of people in this world (i.e. in most of Europe) that do not end up with financial troubles because of illness. They have universal health coverage. Unfortunately, in the US we don't. Even with health insurance, co-pays add up. I can't even imagine the financial burdens on people without health insurance. Why should a person in a country where health coverage isn't free be made to feel a guilt that those in, say, Czech Republic, never would? That's not fair.

The world can seem a scary place full of mean people, but it's not that scary, and most people aren't mean, and I'm saying that as a lifetime resident of the NY-NJ-PA Tri-State area, where the people aren't always known for being ultra friendly, and can seem aggressive, comparatively. But I understand how a social anxiety can make it seem that that is so. Do you go to any therapy? If you don't, that could be a first step in exposure therapy to help alleviate social anxiety.

Can your husband ever take your kids to any kind of child's event? I'm assuming he works full-time, but so do most mothers nowadays, and they do it. I'm sure that as you feel more comfortable stepping out of the house, you'll be able to expose your children to others. It takes time.

My husband works full-time with me on disability. He helps me with some chores. How old are your kids? Can they help you with any chores? Being assigned chores is good for kids. Can you make that part of your learning day? Some day they will want to move out of mom and dad's home. They need to know how to do laundry, how to fold it, how best to load a dishwasher, etc. Maybe you can put on some music (as part of a music "class") and make a game out of who can dust the most furniture before the song ends. Maybe they could get some kind of mini reward for winning. My assumption is that they're not toddlers. If not, they can reach a lot of the furniture. I know I have no children, but I was a kid at one point, and my siblings and I all did plenty of chores.