In 20 minutes I meet with pdoc. I know she will ask how it is going with you and what we are working on. How honest do I be with her. I am always honest and we have been through years of a rollarcoaster. Do I tell her that everyday I wish T was around to help me through the emotional rollercoaster I am on. So O tell her the work we are doing is the hardest thing I have ever done. Do I tell her that I use to feel like I had an amazing team who were on thiis painful journey with me . Now between you being so different than T so I dont want to contact you for reassurance when I am struggling and her health company losing so many providers do getting in is nearly impossible and the red tape of calling to talk on the phone (never mind her recent medical issues I feel totally on my own. Just longing for the one hour a week with you and 1/2 hour every 2-3 month so I for at least that time I feel supported and understood.