Talked to my therapist. I told her about how I got depressed and drank alcohol then got a panic attack. I told her about telling my mom that I was depressed and how my mom said to get a gf and told her that I don't want a relationship that I'm bisexual I don't want a bf either and it could be the injection making me asexual. We argued about my psychiatrist lowering the injection but she said to talk to my family doctor about it as well. The fact that I like the delusions of grandeur at the end of the injection but she said that it should be stable medication and the end of the injection thoughts could be messing with my mind.


She said that it's like her bipolar patients saying that they love their hypomania but it's dangerous because they can go into full blown mania and spend all of their money etc..


I told her that I find sex disturbing because of what happened to me in the hospital





I told her about how traumatized I am etc.. I went to buy cigarettes after the session because it feels wrong for me to talk about traumatizing things.


She referred me to an addictions counselor and group therapy for addiction because of the alcohol and cigarettes and I told her about...





She laughed and said "Lol why????" and I told her that "It makes me not be my thoughts and rather look at my thoughts instead." She said that that stuff could be any chemicals and could kill me. She said to tell my doctor about it and how it could affect my prescription controlled substance use but I said it's fine because they don't provide the same state of mind..


I then went to the college to fill out my disability papers and now I work in an hour. I don't feel mentally well after talking about these things and talking about my problems. I'd rather keep it to myself but I'm a pretty open person like Newtus so w/e...