How to have a life? That's my question these days. I don't go out except to work, even putting off going to do laudry until the last possible moment.

Sometimes that's okay with me, being in, quiet, spending time on the computer, reading, playing with the cat.

Other times it's agony being alone and I'm severely distressed and I feel like I'm just waiting around to die.

Friendships come and go. They are often weak to begin with. I am middle aged, unmarried, and I make just enough to live to the next paycheck at the moment. I would love to go to school again even though I'm middle aged and major life changes are not likely as a result.. I just like learning and I think it fills some social need for me.. so in the meantime I just read a lot.

I would love to move across the country but I feel stuck; it takes money to move, job skills to find a job in this economy, etc.

I'm in therapy and love it and am committed to it and I don't want to leave my therapist.

I feel stuck. I always feel stuck. Trying to figure it out overwhelms me. Trying to be content with what I have makes me feel hopeless and anxious actually.

I so wish I had gotten good help sooner. Possibly I wasn't ready though. I have had therapists but only now am understanding myself. I don't much like what I've done with my life and have many regrets. I feel like it's all over and I'm just waiting to die.

Is anyone else out there middle aged and feeling like this? I don't feel like I'm painting a bleak picture, I feel like I'm being realistic.

How do you keep optimistic about your future?

Or, have you made major changes in your life that you'd share?