When I'm not suicidal depressed, I seem to be good at metacognition. So I replay thoughts in my head like before I sleep talking to my therapist in my head and making up things that he/she would say like "Yes, no, maybe" and I say in her/his thoughts, "Maybe you should do this, or that" and I said "But what if.." then he/she says "Yeah but yknow this could..."..

My thought pattern is that of a shroom.