I feel like I’m not mentally ill. I feel like my episodes and experiences have been spiritual encounters. When I said ‘let go of the meds’ I actually meant letting go of control by taking them when I am scared of them, when I believe they are causing harm. My pdoc, t, IOP leader, and husband all told me I’ll go to the hospital if I stop taking my meds because of my current “delusional thinking”. I honestly haven’t doubted my illness for years but now, I just see so many miracles and can recognize the enormous power of the Holy Spirit inside me.