It’s getting harder to walk around. My left leg and foot is worse than my right. My left foot doesn’t lift up all the way. I’m considering getting a cane to balance myself. I’m worried about falling. I already ordered a shower chair, a grab bar, and a set of grabbers for myself.

I’m worried that I will be permanently disabled. I don’t want to be permanently disabled at 32. I want to be able to walk and play with my son. I’m hoping and praying that surgery will help. I am nervous about seeing my dr on Monday. I’m afraid he won’t refer me to surgery yet again even though I don’t think any injections are going to help with the numbness and tingling. That alongside the pain is what makes it so difficult to get around.

It’s a gorgeous day outside and I wish I could go out and enjoy it but I can’t. I might go out and sit in the driveway at least.

I am just scared. I’m terrified of surgery but I have no choice, I’m more terrified of being disabled for the rest of my life.

I just want answers. At least the spasms have stopped.