Dear T,

This time you didn’t ask me, are you safe. You asked a version of “Are you afraid.” That, I realize just today, is a different question.

You will probably say I had a panic attack on my way home. I know that’s a name for that kind of physiological response.

I think I was so overloaded with all of the other outside life that keeps happening that when these ideas came up one on top of the other...
Of course I’m safe.
Am I afraid?
I do know what he’s capable of.
Am I safe?
...they collided spectacularly, and my body said: I cannot hold all of this.