I stayed up too late, then woke up feeling weird so decided to go back to sleep. I do not like sleeping away the day, but I have become more self aware of when my thinking and brain just feel off, and sleep usually helps with that. I do feel better now that I slept more.
Got some breakfast at 2 pm (not before spilling old coffee all over the kitchen floor, but at least it wasn't the white carpet haha). Now going to finish up this paper once and for all. It will be a relief to get it done.
I am pretty sure my feeling kind of paranoid of people is not a true paranoia or psychosis thing and more of an anxiety type thing. Hard to be sure, but it seems self limiting if that makes sense, and it follows the theme of the obsessive thoughts I have about myself that might be OCD. Like a fear of what if I did something that could harm someone? gets projected onto others into what if they did something to harm someone? Wish I could get outside of my brain and see what's really going on. I feel both totally "fine" and not really fine at the same time. I hope I learn to be more self aware with time an learn what is going on in my brain.