Art - I hope you don't mind me poking in here. Is there a reason you have to get over loving her? Wouldn't accepting that you love her; that it's ok to love her; and it's ok to love her even if she is not in your life anymore be a valuable step as well?

For some reason when I read your statement, I got the feeling of loving her meant possessing/owning her. Like if you couldn't have her in your life the way you want her to be there then there's no reason to love her or that you shouldn't love her.

It also reminded me of your quote about finding barriers to love. What barriers are you putting in place so that this love doesn't hurt or what barriers are in place so you cannot or no longer feel the love that is there (and yeah, kind of thinking of looking at the mirror on this one - not sure if I'm ready).

I know there's so much more to it than this, as I only know a fraction of what you have experienced, so forgive me if I'm completely off base here.