Brentus, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote.

How would you rate your quality of life- from 1 to 10?
I guess 7, even though I'm still on disability. I know it could be better in many ways, but I see myself as extremely lucky with what I have. I try to see the best in what I have. Times have been far worse for me. I see myself as on the horizon of positive change. I'm a half glass full kind of gal. I hope I will always be.

Are you happy?
To a large degree, yes, but I have periods when I'm extremely happy and times when I really struggle. Struggling is painful, but struggles always ease.

Have you been able to do all the things you want to do?
You know, I feel I've done a lot more than most people in terms of things that I value. But did I want a lot more? Yes. I wish I had reached even higher goals. Perhaps I still can, but I've had to readjust the goals in certain ways. I would like to become more productive to make both my husband's and my life easier and more secure again. A lot of people in this world usually say they have not done all that they would do, though some do. I hope to be in the latter category in time.

So do you think youll be able to do whatever you want to in the future?
Whatever I want? Perhaps not. But I'll do some of what I want. I'll do some things I didn't expect, which may be satisfying.

What brings you down the most and what makes you feel best?
Mild sedation and my inability to adequately handle stress brings me down a lot. Enough to still be disabling. The latter triggers my bipolar. My bipolar disorder's fickleness holds me back in many ways and has throughout my life. It has done so even more as I've aged.

I feel best when I concentrate on the beauties in my life, simple pleasures, and the occasional big ones.