Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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Mar 10, 2019 at 02:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.
I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.
When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.
Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.
I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
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I like that approach
And...'ego jockeys' ..I like that expression very much. Experienced it elsewhere, yesterday to be exact. So I excused myself from the conversation [emoji14]
I am the type to ask questions, because frankly, so much can be perceived in so many different ways, that's it's better to ask.
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