I've missed out so much in life because I don't connect to people and make friends like others do. Experiencing things alone is empty to me. I feel so recharged around people that I'm able to interact with. When I'm around people I can't figure out how to fit in with, it can be depressing, although being alone can be pretty depressing as well.

I've lost so much over the last year, experienced too many events that might be considered traumatic. I feel broken, fragile. That and with a loss of support system, I don't feel safe. And to lose the main part of my support system while I'm going through a chaotic, transitional part of my life seems cruel.

I just want to know, what's the point? Anything I may gain I either lose or it's empty because it happens in a void (no one to share with).

I very much want to connect with people...to have friends/family/whatever. People I feel safe just texting hi to...people to experience life with...people to really become part of my life and not fleeting when I see them at work. I just have no ability to connect with people that way...

Please don't reply that I shouldn't have these needs or that I don't deserve to have them filled. Others may not have these needs, but there is no need to mock or judge those who do....