I've been spiraling downhill with no brakes and it keeps getting worse. I hate leaving work everyday because I don't want to be home. I'm looking at other options so I can ignore my own sadness and hatred of being at home. I've signed up to be a volunteer for the elderly in my city. A lot of them has been forgotten by their families and are totally alone. When I bring happiness to someone it makes me forget about my own life. I've got to get out of my house on the weekends and do something other than some hobbies.

I've been looking for a part time job. Ive got to do something soon or I'm going to lose it.

I use to have 3 jobs and I think I know why I was happier back then. Working 24/7 helps me feel normal as long as I dont tell anyone I'm putting in 100hrs a week. But if that's what makes me happy I guess I should do it.

Nothing "fun" intrested me anymore.

Does anyone else feel this way? Hate being at home and having a massive hatred of doing nothing productive?