I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, jaymoq Please don't give up. I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. He's definitely an addict, and it's hard to change that. I'd suggest to have seriously talk to him about this. Ask him if he's willing to work on his addiction. Make him understand that this is a problem. Hopefully he'll listen to you and understand you. If he doesn't, and he refuses to get any help for all of this, then I'm sorry to say it, but you may want to reconsider your relationship with him. You can't force him to change him, but you can decide to get away from him if this is not the life you want for you and your future children. It's your decision. Please don't feel guilty about it. It's not petty at all. Addiction is a serious problem. It can be solved, but only if you want to get better. Does your husband want to get better? Please ask yourself that. You have every right to live an happy, healthy life. I'd suggest to talk to him about this and see how it goes from there. After that you'll be able to make your own decision. Either way, we'll be here for you to listen to you and to support you. You're a wonderful person and you deserve to be happy. Remember that we're here foryou if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this