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Mar 11, 2019, 10:05 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanusunaJ
It's disheartening really. I spent everything I had on this enterprise. I was once working on a project that overlapped with my career goal, and I actually found myself intrigued/happy with something again -- I'd been looking since early 2018 for a hobby, and had found nothing. I thought for sure this would be my thing: converting a childhood hobby into a profession like so many other people do. I'd been interviewing for statistical programming positions.
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What was the enterprise if you dont mind me asking?
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That's what my life feels like. And the only future that I now see is one of a continued existence of that. Seeing a psychiatrist; have them go through every combination of meds and not have them work; try TMS for it to not work again; try ECT for it to not work again. Tell a hostpital psychiatrist every option I've tried -- the different medications, doses, alternative treatments. Ask him what I'm supposed to do. Have him say "I don't know" as he's walking away. Repeating all of that while still trying to just get a job to keep the lights on and eat because the opportunity for work here is abysmal. Experiencing the malnutrition take its insoluble effect, and poverty too. Maybe recovering enough to try again; but then I'll be competing for entry level work with recent college graduates.
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I am curious..have you tried any university hospitals and research centers? I am not trying to throw out a suggestion that you have already tried I just refuse to believe you are a lost cause.
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Now, when I look to the future, I see just black emptiness.
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I really do believe in hope. I do not think you are hopeless and insignificant.
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President of the no F's given society.
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