I've been dreaming of various failures over the past few days and it's starting to get to me. For instance, I get flustered and can't handle my job or I get fired from another one. Another dream had me crashing my car after taking a corner too fast. Yet another had me failing out of school. All (in my mind) avoidable scenarios. Now, I'm not one to attach cosmic significance to my dreams but I firmly believe that dreams can be reflections of conscious thoughts and stressors.

Some days, I feel like I'm consumed by failure. Failure to achieve. Failure to maintain. Failure to be. How #@$% do you have to be to fail to be? In my rational brain, I know this is rumination and unhealthy, but in the back of my mind, when I've failed so, so much, I ask myself why this would be any different? Why any decision I make will end well?

Sorry to be melodramatic.