For me this is all part of lrad's therapy progress. She's fighting the fears of opening up of discoving what there's, of exchanging the known and comfortable with the unknown and hard.

I say go cause, as I said to my t today, when she asked me if I wanted to come, I said I didn't positively want to come but I have that for a load of things and it's right to do them anyway.

Also seems you're running away from the emotions in those two emails.