Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
Does anyone else ever want to come on here and talk about your therapy experience, sit down to write, but then it just feels too complicated to try to explain? I have a session today and I don't know what to say to him right now. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday instigated by my car breaking down. I'm going through a bit of a rough patch lately so it wasn't just the car. We also had a pre-arranged phone call yesterday. There was a tone to his voice and I don't know if it was me being a bother or him feeling helpless/not being able to help, but he wasn't his normal warm self. And I'm so very sensitive to that. He did say something to the effect of he's feeling my hopelessness and that's coming out. He also at one point called himself my "treatment provider", twice in a row. While I know that's technically true, that hurt. It's so impersonal and our relationship, at least for me, doesn't feel that impersonal. I don't know what to tell him today. I feel hurt and alone. We both acknowledged that the phone call wasn't working out very well yesterday. I feel like I've become too open with him and now he just sees that I'm some sort of freakish weirdo.
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I’ve definitely been there. Or I’ve come on here and tried to explain what’s going on in therapy only to have people get hung up on one thing my T said or did instead of the whole picture. So I’ve stepped back a little. Because much of it is way too complex to explain without someone being in the room with us.
I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with your T right now. I hope you can work it out because he seems like a good T. I get yourbeing bothered by the “treatment provider” thing.i hate when my T is like “we have a professional relationship.” It’s true but still can be painful.
And today I had what I thought was this huge revelation, and he didn’t react to it as much as I expected him to. But he’s also dealing with a back injury, and seemed to be in some pain, so I imagine he isn’t fully on his game. And like he noted that I’d dropped a tissue on the floor, which sort of took me out of the moment, like couldn’t he say that st the end? And I got a haircut that he’d normally have commented on but he didn’t say anything so I was just thinking “maybe he thinks it looks terrible.” Which it probably does today. I’m rambling sorry. Just trying to say I get it.