It's just that often the cliche responses amount to "be happy with your needs NOT getting met in order to earn getting your needs met". Or you have to meet ALL of your own needs first. You have to EARN love. You have to DESERVE it. I would give more specific examples, but those common cliches just bother me so much.
And it's not so much about what I am not, it's about what I am: bisexual and probably non-binary/transgender. I lost my first long-time best friend because of her opinion that I could never act on my attraction to the same sex. I haven't, but it has left a certain amount of emptiness and confusion on my identity. But I guess that doesn't matter. Second best friend, I developed feelings for. I didn't pursue it once I knew she was definitely straight, but I dug my own grave being attracted to her in the first place. Third best friend, I actually dated for four years. Not so compatible with the gender thing (being that he is a straight man and not open to trying to understand these things) and not so compatible in other ways as a couple. Oh well...hopefully, we can still be friends as he's the only one I feel comfortable just texting "hey, how are you doing?" to.
But that's been the only person I've ever seriously dated. I don't even know what sex I would be more compatible with or if an ideal person even exists for me within a reasonable distance. Or even a person that I could date for even a couple of months. I have no evidence or any logical reasons to have hope that I'll even be able to date again at this point. And since I haven't really made and close friends in the last few years, I don't really have a lot of hope that I will ever have close friends again. Besides, I develop feelings for them and that ruins everything anyway.
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