I finally decided to listen to my new therapist and see a psychiatrist. They always intimidate me. I've just seen my PCP for the last few years after going off meds for some time. I told my new psychiatrist that I'm on Wellbutrin 300MG and he said that I should probably get off that since I was prescribed that based on a diagnosis of depression. Instead, he prescribed me Lithium. I'm super apprehensive. Of course, the day after I fill the RX my grandfather passed away and I flew back home and I just told myself...now isn't a good time for a medication change. But I've been back for a week. And those tablets are just staring at me everyday. And I close the cabinet and say "Maybe tomorrow".

I have to schedule blood work to make sure my levels are okay once I start. The lab has called me to say "What gives? Don't forget to get checked!"

I feel really ashamed. I don't WANT to feel the way I do...but I am so scared to change medication. Not that the Wellbutrin is great. I have extreme anxiety and still battle with ideation. But...at least I know that's as bad as it gets. I ended up impatient a few years back after taking another medication and I am scared that if I try something new, I might lose my touch with reality. I might still be depressed and anxious and swinging through bouts of mania but I know I can manage. I don't know if I can manage the lithium.