Brentus, I can relate in some ways, yes. I actually tend to suppress my emotions in a effort to control them and I think that is part of my problem. I need to learn to be less controlled by them, but not necessarily try to control them if that makes sense. More like I need to be mindful of them, recognize what I am actually feeling, and why, and deal with it in a constructive way. I grew up in a household with emotionally reactive people (who had anger outbursts), and had to learn to be the "calm" one, but I am also emotionally sensitive and I think I developed bad habits of ignoring my own needs. I have been noticing, for example, that I might feel angry and am really just hurt because someone was taking advantage of me and I did not stick up for myself. So, I am trying to also express my emotions in a healthy way, by addressing what is upsetting me or maybe releasing it through something like art. Not that I have this down, just saying this is my goal.

I think it is good you are becoming self aware of how your emotions affect you, and I don't think you should feel ashamed. Therapy sounds like a good place to work on it. Have you brought it up with a therapist?