Most of the time I use a mix of blaming the illness, and blaming myself. However, if I really have been doing all the right things and still have an episode I blame the illness alone. However, what I use to blame myself can be petty and rejected as a cause by my pdoc. Things like I had a week where I didn’t exercise like usual. We can definitely trigger our episodes with significant negative behavioural changes though. That is when I blame myself. Still if we didn’t have Bipolar there would be nothing to trigger.