Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I think that it's fair to be on guard and fair to want to limit your travels to be there. There's plenty of stress in life without adding to it, more than you can handle or desire to handle. But this picking up the phone to listen in to the conversations that his wife is having is alarming.
Expecting pricey dinners out at your expense as opposed to being appreciative of a home cooked meal...well, that's a lot to demand of others. Negates the nature of gifting and wheels into the land of entitlement.
Add in the alcohol and considering my own life's perspective, I say be there but at your pace. If she's an enabler, don't be hers, if that makes sense?
I'm sure you'll in time figure out what to say and how you want to say it if there's really much to be said. Boundaries are a curious thing because they aren't necessarily about the other person.
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He picks up the phone when I am in the room talking as a way to show me he’s not listening to me. When I call, I use FaceTime and he is usually in the room even if I don’t see him. My H thinks it’s odd he doesn’t make his presence known right away when I’m talking to my daughter and the baby. He’s basically a jerk to me. I have no idea how he treats my daughter when I’m not around. The baby seems close to him though. Honestly, the baby seems more relaxed around his dad than he is around his mother, my daughter. That is what I have observed so far. But that could just be because I’m around and causing tension.
Yes, expecting pricey dinners is ridiculous. Especially considering how rude he is to me.
I agree there is not much to say. Not much needs to be said. I just feel sad but I have to accept the reality of the situation. I think for my own sanity I need to limit the visits. You’re right, the boundaries are for me. A lot of this just needs to be resolved in my own head.