Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I am so not a fan of FWB. I feel like if you are willing to do all the things a couple would do including sex then why not just be a couple. I think this type of relationship does more harm than good. Its almost a guarantee that one person is going to feel emotionally attached to the other person- even love them. Then that person is left with a decision: tell the friend they are in love and have feelings for them-risking the whole relationship OR say nothing and suffer.
If you both acknowledge it would hurt the other person to share details then...isnt that an indication that the relationship is changing?
No disrespect meant but is it at all possible she just said that because she was hurt? I am not saying she is a liar but is it a form of self protection?
In no way is this a good idea or reasonable. You have feelings for her and she says she has feelings for you so- why the avoidance? Are you at all bummed that she wont match your feelings and just have the relationship? Because it sounds like she is either very scared, very unsure or very confused. You do not want to be sleeping with a confused person. it will not help her and its definitely not gonna help you.
In my personal opinion I would terminate the friendship unless she agrees to give an official relationship a try. i do not know what is going on in her mind but now its affecting you emotionally. Its not making you feel good and it isnt healthy for either of you. You are doing a disservice to her by engaging in this intimate relationship/not relationship. She should be able to move on and so should you. Unless you both want to be together it sounds like a recipe for pain. And Jealousy is never good. No good can come of it. Its sort of like self punishment. You love her and want her to love you and she wont agree to love you so your heart just breaks inside and you start wondering who else may have her heart if not you.
I thought that I had accepted that we are just friends. I have tried to just focus on my life, and have even asked other women out. I am trying to shift my focus off Z.
Do not be hard on yourself. These feelings you are having IMO are completely justified and understandable. How else are you supposed to feel? i think having a serious talk with her about wanting a relationship would be a good idea and if she doesnt want to be prepared to walk away.
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I was going to reply... then you stole my thunder and said pretty much everything I would like to have said. I agree completely.