Thank you Ptak.

Today was a little harder then yesterday, especially when i realized i've made a mistake at work and when we make mistakes we pay a fine. we didnt get it yet, but i know it will come. it was discouraging, but i do my best and i try hard to keep focused all day. its hard, especially the last hour of the day. i try not to take anything personally and to keep calm with difficult people. but its SO hard.

i've found myself more relaxed the last 2 days. taking it easy, maybe because i feel better about having my flat, thanks to good exT. i dont know how, but He always gets to make me feel better. when i get home i dont have to talk, pretend or hear anyone breathing. sleeping alone means a lot to me (meaning i cant have a family but im good at enjoying my alone time).

Tomorrow i have T. and the whole afternoon free. i'll try to treasure it and relax so that i can face better the last 2 days at work for this week.

during the day i keep thinking about food. it has become my friend. the only thing that makes me feel better. eating what i want. i do plan anything i eat but it feels ok. im gaining weight and im not happy about it, i know its comfort eating, but i cant stop. i could, because nobodys watching me, but i cant. i hope i'll soon be able to.

also, i think of PC all day. im so happy its helping me so much. its almost like a new friend.

the neighbors are still bothering me but i try to overlook at the whole thing. looking at the positive instead of the negative. its also hard when they scream at night and wake me up in the morning, but i try to not let it bother me too much.

Thanks anyone for reading.