There is no single way to do this, it's different for everyone, one common theme though is it takes time, it won't happen over night. Small steps is what it takes.

You said you've read alot of books and watched youtube videos. did you actually do any of the exercises you learned about. Most informational material of this type has exercises in them.

If you did the exercises, did you really do them, I mean give them a real shot not just tried them once or twice. As I said above it takes time, lots of time and you need to give any self-esteem building exercise time work, months of repetitive action at least not just a one off, half hearted attempt.

There is probably no advice I can give you that you haven't already read about, it's up to you to take what you've learned and run with it. Good luck.