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I hope you don't mind hugs, because you do deserve them, and you sound like maybe you could use them too. I appreciate you sharing your story with us, and I'm sorry you hurt. If you've already read most of this forum, then you know you're in good company here, and we're available for support any time you need it. You can tell us as much or as little of your story here as you like, or use the other forums if that seems better. Some of us post on this forum because we're more comfortable here, and that's fine, even if your post isn't strictly about SI.