Hello StarryPrince.

Thank you for sharing your truth with us. It was an interesting post which raised important questions for all of us. I would like to draw your attention to something you said, if I may.

"I think my father leaving when I was a baby really hurt her."

Is it possible that your mother was not the only one hurt by your father's exit? Perhaps it hurt you too? I know you were a baby at the time but you grew up without him. I am wondering if that is at all tied in with your difficulties around love and attachment.

As to your question. I'm not sure if I have felt shame for wanting love but I do feel a sense of shame when I get lonely. Perhaps that is similar? I also have a hard time asking people for things or depending on people though I am quite happy to help others or for them to depend on me.

I do not think you are alone in this struggle. It sounds very human to me. According to the research, our adult attachment styles are based on the attachments we developed to our parents when we were children. Something to think about. I'm not sure if you mentioned feeling open to discussing with a therapist? That helped me a great deal. Shame can be a very heavy and difficult emotion. Some professional help might be useful. That said, it is a feeling. You don't have to agree with your shame. If you see what I mean.

I wish you peace and a bright and loving future