Anatta, I only want to tell you that I do understand you. It’s part of this disorder believing that you are gonna be abandoned, and that when this happens, you are not gonna be able to survive. All are mind’s tricks. I know you and everyone can feel sadness and grief bc of a loss. It’s normal. But you are a whole person. You don’t need anyone. You are lucky to share your life with your partner. Enjoy it.
I know fears are hard to avoid but try it. With therapy, your own research and such. But try it.