Well... I wish there was something I could say that would be helpful here. But honestly I don't know what it would be. I've made 2 major attempts of my own in the past. So I'm familiar with the terrain where you are. Here are links to 2 of DocJohn's articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of suicide plus an additional article that talks about how to survive suicidal thoughts. Perhaps there is something in these articles that can be of help:
Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot
Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You
How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts
Please take care... 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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