My feeling of being suicidal... it’s due to “anxiety” and not wanting to “face” scary horrible things I’m afraid of. And all the bad memories and feelings from trauma my inner snake carries to bite/sting me with. I try to “replace” these with good memories or thoughts .. they keep coming back. And the su thoughts, the wish to escape

Conflicted (thud)

Like someone else said, I’m not still here because I’m brave. It’s partly because I’m scared of screwing up.

CBT (one practitioner) told me my thoughts were “wrong” ... it even told me that learning the piano was dysfunctional (to “comfort myself” - said with a snarl ) I wish I hadn’t listened to that

CBT (that practitioner) agreed with my parental units that I deserved callousness

I read part of a book on CBT.. I think it could be helpful for some with “mild” depression (but not if callousness is part of the prescription

Please no bites or lectures