i'm invisible in life i do my best to not come into contact with it, i guess it's a defensive thing. But i'm losing my confidence to do anything my heart is pounding now just writing this i feel embarassed to be doing it.
I log into the chat room i want to talk i want to have the nerve to just type to people and talk to them. At least talking over the computer isn't as difficult as talking face to face or so you'd think!!
There is only one person i've properly chatted to and that was a one off and i only did it because i was so down.
Most of the time i say hello and just sit back and read what people are writing. I'm crying my eyes out dying to ask someone if they'll talk to me but i lose my nerve how pathetic have i become.
I was never this shy and i'm losing myself. I shut myself in my flat as much as i can to avoid people. And yet in my heart i'm yearning to talk to people. But everyone always has a habiting of letting me down and i don't think i could handle any more hurt right now.
All i've done in this e-mail is talk about me is it any wonder that people get fed up with me.
I'm so upset right now i can't even begin to write it all down i feel it's a never ending and pathetic list of woe's.
Why do i see the worst in everything and remember the bad times why???
I guess i needed to spout out this sorry if i've wasted anyones time. Somebody hear me.