Hi ! I don't know if I am really having codependency issues or it is just normal. I am in a long distance relationship already for 10 months. My boyfriend is a really good person: he is loving, listener, taking care, loving without any conditions. He is very intelligent emotionally and super calm person. In this case I am lost, I find myself always questioning myself after we decided to be a couple if it is a right person, if he is attractive enough, maybe he should be more like this, more like this ...is he a loser or not? Is he my person or not? Especially, these questions become stronger when I see other couples where two of people are super attractive and looks super happy. Than I have this tension thinking that we aren't like them.

The things is that I don't know how to understand whether I am good with this boyfriend or not. I am feeling tensed most of the time when we are together and even when we are in a long distance because I am always having questions in my head. And that already grew up to anxiety. I feel stressed about thinking that we will meet in one month and maybe I should decline the meeting and finish all.

It is already a third day that I am waking up in the morning and thinking that maybe I should brake up because I can't stand this anymore. But at the same I scared about these minds. I am always thinking about it, always analysing. I feel tensed but basically this man is not doing anything bad. I am open with him, he knows that I have already anxiety for meeting but he says that we should keep trying, at least you will decide that we should finish all. I am sure that he loves me. But I am always thinking "Should I brake up or not?" If I will brake up, I will hurt him and he is a very good guy, maybe I will do a huge mistake but in the same I am always having these questions. We have already planned 10 days together in Spain and I am feeling tensed when I think that we will meet his friends, very nice family and I will have to act that everything is well. A number of times I had a big big tension about how I feel with this person with questions that I brought myself to wants to escape and cry but I couldn't because we were with his friends and family on these times.

The fact that I know is that I have grown with narcistic mother and without father. Maybe is affecting me but how to stop thinking or to be more brave to take a decision. It is like a loupe that is killing me already for 6 months, I was crying all day when flying back from a number of our meetings. Does anybody have similar experience?