I have my first private French lesson this afternoon. I have to say I'm quite nervous. That may sound strange, but it is a little intimidating for me. It's mostly because of the expected stress of having to be "on" constantly. Sometimes that stress makes me shut down, mentally, a bit. Group classes, or classes other than language classes, allow some time to learn more passively. Though I don't complain anymore, I do have concentration challenges. At home on disability it's not an issue because I don't have many pressures and can do things at my own pace.

Yesterday I saw my psychiatrist. I've known him for more than 13 years. I now realize my mood was a bit elevated yesterday. I yapped continuously during the session and went off on multiple tangents. Then on my way out of his office (standing in his office doorway), he said something very strange that I didn't fully process until much later. Out of the blue he started talking about the Boeing 737 Max 8 planes that have recently crashed. Somewhat nervously, he said something like "Well, the pilots will be able to find a way to keep their "noses" up so that they don't crash."

I was thinking "What?!?!" Then he made clear he was talking about the Boeing planes in the news. Why was he bringing up this topic? I then responded "Ohhh, they put the schnitzers to them, finally!" [Meaning that the US FINALLY grounded them.] But he seemed to ignore that, and said "There won't be a problem on them."

I was standing there with him with my mind in a tizzy. I finally just firmly stated "Dr. R, just don't get on one of those planes!" I then left.

Earlier in the session, my psychiatrist said he would be taking a 2-week vacation in April. I wonder if that is part of why he brought up the planes out of the blue. Is he afraid to fly? I know he has flown in the past. He's been to Europe and certainly didn't take a boat to get there. I think he has family in US states far from ours. I assume he flies to see them.

Very curious! Am I misinterpreting his last minute conversation? Or have I finally discovered something that he is anxious about? If the latter, it's interesting that he sought my reassurance for such a thing, especially when I was clearly a bit elevated in mood.