----You have enough to manage without all that. Have a family meeting and put some agreed upon items down on paper. Replace the housekeeper. Dont teach the housekeeper how to be a housekeeper, darn. People can be hired to assist w other issues, sometimes the right roommate can solve some problems. I need to do this type of thing myself because I am currently crumbling under the pressure of making medical decisions for my ex who was capable of this for decades (excellent algebra teacher), just wants someone else to do it or ignore things and pay the price, a huge price when it comes to our health. It was sort of my job but now it is eating up my life and my identity like a pac man game, gobbling up parts of my soul. Must problem solve, not get further triggered by this. Me too, for sure. Together we can all search for solutions! One step at a time is so hard sometimes. We definitely need to be kind to ourselves and reward ourselves for each step along the way.